Have you ever gotten the advice of finding your balance? And were like: Are you kidding me?! First of all, what is this supposed to mean?! And second: I’m a Working Mom, not being in balance is my normal daily state of being!
In this article, I introduce you to the meaning of being in and out of balance as a Working Mom. Based on the ancient science of Ayurveda and TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), you will learn about what to consider normal in terms of falling in and out of balance and what kind of imbalance can be harmful.
If you are wondering whether or not you’re in balance, what state of (im)balance qualifies as normal, and whether you are about to fall prey to Working Mom Burnout, you wanna read on!
When Are You Out of Balance?
Talking about being in or out of balance is oftentimes ridiculed as esoteric chatter. However, talking about stress levels, burnout, work-life-balance, or mental overload is talking the very same topic. In the end, it all comes down to how much baggage one can carry, to what’s too much and what’s not enough.
Unfortunately, we have gotten used to not taking this “esoteric nonsense” more seriously, which is part of the reason why we have unlearned to feel what’s good or bad for us and to act on that perception.
As a consequence, it is safe to say that burnout has turned into a widespread phenomenon in this day and age. And yet – or because of this development – the idea of being in balance has turned into an empty saying, devoid of meaning.
And yet again, grasping the meaning of being in or out of balance couldn’t be easier. We don’t need any experts whatsoever in order to feel whether we’re balanced or not. Let’s talk some random, unstructured but enlightening examples:
I argue that you, dear fellow working mom, are out of balance if
- you are often sick/ill, especially chronically sick
- you feel low emotions such as anger, rage, frustration, hate, jealousy, envy, fear, self-doubt, and so on and so forth on a very regular or constant basis
- you eat and drink things that are not in line with your natural and current state of being (in Ayurveda, it’s called “constitution”)
- you dislike going to work (for whatever reasons) but go anyway
- you have friendships or family constellations that burden you, e.g. friends that put pressure on you because of differing beliefs on a certain topic
- you are concerned about the kids or financially and are stuck in the “worrying loop”
- you have needs (e.g. resting, working out, meeting friends) but you cannot act on them because of the family and due to time constraints
- the weather or season is tough on you (e.g. if it’s hot and you cannot stand the heat)
- you find yourself in an environment that is uncomfortable, harmful, perhaps even toxic (e.g. someplace where the air is not fresh, where there is no sunlight, etc.)
The list goes on and on…
Do you see yourself in any of these examples? Or even in many? What do they have in common?
All of these situations and constellations and contexts and physical and mental and emotional and spiritual states of being can cause different types of stress. And stress equals imbalance.
It’s that simple.
Now you are like: Well, if so, I’m out of balance all the time! Daily!
And I’m like: Yes. Exactly. That’s my point.
And now you are like: Well, but there’s nothing I can do. That’s life as a working mom in this day and age.
Of course, you can argue that my definition of “balance” is way too narrow, simply because if not, then life as a working mom simply equals imbalance, which can’t be true.
Before responding to that, however, let us look at the concept of balance and agree on a bullet-proof definition.
Defining Balance
The ancient philosophical symbol of Yin & Yang, which serves as the theoretical basis of TCM, describes what balance actually means. It’s illustrated as a circle that’s black and white with a black and a white part reaching into one another. In the black space, there’s a white dot, and in the white space, there’s a black dot. (I’m sure you know the symbol, but in case you don’t, just use a search engine typing in Yin & Yang).
Probably, we all know this symbol but have completely forgotten (or have never really known) what it means. The basic idea of this relational concept from ancient Chinese philosophy is that there are two different forms of energies, i.e. Yin and Yang, which represent life forces such as female & male, night & day, moon & sun, water & fire, etc. These forces are in certain relation to one another. They:
- unite with one another
- oppose one another
- depend on one another
- support one another
- use/exhaust one another
- transform one another
The key messages are: One cannot exist without the other, none is better than the other, and there’s constant movement, constant change – a dynamic balance. And don’t we all know that the only constant in life is change?!
This ancient philosophical concept (still known worldwide today, which says a lot) states that being out of balance is normal and that our BodyMindSoul-Complex has the ability to always bring itself back to balance. We do something or something happens to us, we get out of balance, but we have been provided with BodyMindSoul-Intelligence so that we are able to restore balance. By nature, we are in a naturally normal balance-imbalance-flow.
The Working Mom Balance Problem
Unfortunately, however, the problem is this that us working moms fall out of balance too often, the degree of how severely we get out of balance is high, and the duration is too long. Which is why finding back to balance again has become harder.
So yes, according to Yin & Yang it is normal to get out of balance. BUT: It’s about the quality or extent (how dramatic), about time (for how long) and frequency (how often).
I therefore suggest narrowing the “balance gap,” which is the gap between the naturally normal balance-imbalance-flow and the working mom balance-imbalance-flow.
If imbalance has turned into your normal state of being, you can easily fall prey to Working Mom Exhaustion or even Working Mom Burnout.
Working Mom Balance Test
You do not need any authority to determine for you whether or not you are out of balance, whether you are living the naturally normal balance-imbalance-flow or the working mom balance-imbalance-flow. You are your own health & balance expert. How so? Because only you know how you feel.
Still, it might be difficult for you to say if you are balanced or not, simply because we tend to either ignore or completely miss out on the signs our BodyMindSoul-Comlex is sending. If we get out of balance, there are multiple signals and messages sent our way, but we hardly ever act on them.
Do you wanna start re-learning how you feel? Check out my Working Mom Balance Test (you will be directed to a landing page outside of medium.com) and go through the list of questions. They will help you develop a feeling for your own state of balance.
Becoming aware of some imbalance indicators on several life dimensions – lifestyle, daily habits and routines, nutrition, health relationships, mindset, and more – will help you pay more attention again to your wellbeing. The Working Mom Balance Test is a holistic tool supporting you in perceiving for yourself if your current physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual condition is naturally normal or working mom normal.
Balance Up
As a working mom, being in balance means that sometimes things are getting too much. At times, life is stressful, dissatisfying, and chaotic. Also, sometimes, you feel low, frustrated, and simply annoyed. And sometimes you fall ill or suffer from health problems that are persistent and difficult to handle. Being in balance also means, however, that you know what it is you can do and think to find back to balance.
“Sometimes” is very different from “ongoingly.” The pertinent question is this: Do you know about and use the principles you need to re-establish balance in your busy everyday life? What exactly does your highly individual and simply unique BodyMindSoul-Complex need for re-balancing itself?
If you know the answer to these questions, you are golden!
If not, check out my Woman by Nature Teachings & Woman by Nature Coachings and let’s find out 😉
